I just dont have words yet...
but I'm here
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Team in Training!
Hey everyone,
I have made an exciting improvement in my life and have joined Team in Training. The Team is a group of people walking together to find a cure for Leukemia and Blood cancers.
I am walking a half marathon (13.1 miles) in June in Alaska!
If you have any availability and can find it in you to donate even $1 together we can find a cure for the LLS society.
I have made an exciting improvement in my life and have joined Team in Training. The Team is a group of people walking together to find a cure for Leukemia and Blood cancers.
I am walking a half marathon (13.1 miles) in June in Alaska!
If you have any availability and can find it in you to donate even $1 together we can find a cure for the LLS society.
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Empty Words, Empty Spaces
"I'm sorry for your loss..." I never realized how empty those words sound....
How do you express your empathy and actual pain for someone who has just lost a loved one... how do you manage to say a final goodbye?
Welcome to my January... Three women, three wonderful women have gone home in 18 short days. Each of them has had some impact on my life, some greater than others but an impact that has shaped who I am now and who I will become in the future.
This post is dedicated to those three women: my Great-Aunt Dee, Laura Salla and Karen Hofrichter.
My Great-Aunt was 90 and had been fighting old age for 4 months or so. She held on through the holidays and went home on January 5 (if my memory serves correctly). I have only a few memories of Aunt Dee. She lived in Ohio and I only visited her there once. I remember very clearly spending the night at her house, getting to pick out the movie we were going to watch and enjoying not one, but TWO bowls of 50/50 ice cream! (that would have never happened back home) I also remember sleeping in my grandmother's bed that she slept in when she was a kid. I thought that was the COOLEST thing ever! Aunt Dee's other tradition was sending cards to me when I was younger for EVERY holiday. I mean Valentine's Day, 4th of July, Halloween you name it. Saying goodbye to my Aunt was, I don't want to say easy, but more expected. She lived a wonderful and full life and will be missed. My mom and I will be traveling back to Ohio to say our final goodbye's April 30th, Spring was her favorite time of the year.
On Monday, January 17th my neighbor across the street Laura left us. Laura was the person in our neighborhood who kept tabs. She loved working in her garden and that's where we would catch up and exchange how our family's were doing. I can hear her voice in my head asking how my mom was and grandma. Laura's granddaughter and I went to Middle School together but used to play together daily throughout elementary school. Laura was the neighbor you could go to to borrow a cup of sugar or if you were designing AWESOME lemonade stand posters, she would have some creative and catchy slogan. The other thing I remember from Laura was her Halloween decorations. Laura always went all out- flickering candelabras in the windowsill, spider webs through her garden, several jack-o-lanterns. I wish one year I would have taken a picture of her house. My final goodbye to Laura will be Saturday.
Not 24 hours after Laura passed I received a devastating, life changing phone call. One of my best friends mom's had passed suddenly. When I heard Eva's voice trying to be strong on the phone I couldn't accept it. I couldn't fathom Karen not being a part of our lives anymore. I still don't think it has completely sunk in, for any of us. Karen was like glue. She held her family together when things got tough, she mended friendships with her amazing insight and knowledge and she held together a hectic and chaotic front office at our high school.
I think part of the reason I haven't accepted Karen's death is that she is so young. I know some of you have heard me complain about turning 23 next week and feeling old, but that has been shocked out of me. When I look at my Grandma who just turned 88, or her sister who passed at 90 it does seem young for Karen to go when she was in her early 50's. Thats my mom's age... suddenly 23 seems young and 53 seems just a blink older.
Karen taught all of us lots of things. She was our high school hangout group's surrogate mother. We invaded her home on more occasions then I can remember. It seems like almost every friday night for 4+ years there were up to 10 of us crammed in a bedroom being ridiculously loud and eating them out of house and home. I don't know if I ever expressed my gratitude towards her completely. Karen also took me in for a couple of weeks when I was "over" school and my roommates. She let me stay as long as I wanted. From Karen I learned patience, perseverance and kindness. Even when Karen was mad she was nice.
Saying goodbye to Karen will be the hardest. I think there will only be a handful of people in my life who saying goodbye to will be harder. I think what makes it so hard is that I know my best friend is hurting so bad. And that Gary, who stood beside Karen through thick and thin is now having to face the world alone. And the Chris, Karen's 3 year old grandson will grow up without his grandma there.
Last night at Eva's house Justin told us that he put Chris to bed with grandpa and when Chris crawled into bed he told Gary, its ok grandpa, Grandma's not in pain now, she's happy. It's amazing how that little three year old knows that Karen is ok, and she's not in pain anymore.
I will be saying goodbye to Karen on Tuesday.
In my opinion you are put on this earth for a reason. We don't know what that reason is but I believe when you finish your destiny then you can have peace and go home. I'm not sure what any of these three ladies paths were, I can't tell you why they left when they did but I can tell you that they will always be remembered, both in my heart and in the hearts of those who love them. I can also tell you that I hope to see them again someday, maybe not in the near future but I know that even though I have to say goodbye its really only see you later.
So ladies, may you rest in peace. I hope that wherever you are you are happy and looking out for us still finding our way here on earth. Thank you for all changing my life for the better. You all will truly be missed.
Love always,
How do you express your empathy and actual pain for someone who has just lost a loved one... how do you manage to say a final goodbye?
Welcome to my January... Three women, three wonderful women have gone home in 18 short days. Each of them has had some impact on my life, some greater than others but an impact that has shaped who I am now and who I will become in the future.
This post is dedicated to those three women: my Great-Aunt Dee, Laura Salla and Karen Hofrichter.
My Great-Aunt was 90 and had been fighting old age for 4 months or so. She held on through the holidays and went home on January 5 (if my memory serves correctly). I have only a few memories of Aunt Dee. She lived in Ohio and I only visited her there once. I remember very clearly spending the night at her house, getting to pick out the movie we were going to watch and enjoying not one, but TWO bowls of 50/50 ice cream! (that would have never happened back home) I also remember sleeping in my grandmother's bed that she slept in when she was a kid. I thought that was the COOLEST thing ever! Aunt Dee's other tradition was sending cards to me when I was younger for EVERY holiday. I mean Valentine's Day, 4th of July, Halloween you name it. Saying goodbye to my Aunt was, I don't want to say easy, but more expected. She lived a wonderful and full life and will be missed. My mom and I will be traveling back to Ohio to say our final goodbye's April 30th, Spring was her favorite time of the year.
On Monday, January 17th my neighbor across the street Laura left us. Laura was the person in our neighborhood who kept tabs. She loved working in her garden and that's where we would catch up and exchange how our family's were doing. I can hear her voice in my head asking how my mom was and grandma. Laura's granddaughter and I went to Middle School together but used to play together daily throughout elementary school. Laura was the neighbor you could go to to borrow a cup of sugar or if you were designing AWESOME lemonade stand posters, she would have some creative and catchy slogan. The other thing I remember from Laura was her Halloween decorations. Laura always went all out- flickering candelabras in the windowsill, spider webs through her garden, several jack-o-lanterns. I wish one year I would have taken a picture of her house. My final goodbye to Laura will be Saturday.
Not 24 hours after Laura passed I received a devastating, life changing phone call. One of my best friends mom's had passed suddenly. When I heard Eva's voice trying to be strong on the phone I couldn't accept it. I couldn't fathom Karen not being a part of our lives anymore. I still don't think it has completely sunk in, for any of us. Karen was like glue. She held her family together when things got tough, she mended friendships with her amazing insight and knowledge and she held together a hectic and chaotic front office at our high school.
I think part of the reason I haven't accepted Karen's death is that she is so young. I know some of you have heard me complain about turning 23 next week and feeling old, but that has been shocked out of me. When I look at my Grandma who just turned 88, or her sister who passed at 90 it does seem young for Karen to go when she was in her early 50's. Thats my mom's age... suddenly 23 seems young and 53 seems just a blink older.
Karen taught all of us lots of things. She was our high school hangout group's surrogate mother. We invaded her home on more occasions then I can remember. It seems like almost every friday night for 4+ years there were up to 10 of us crammed in a bedroom being ridiculously loud and eating them out of house and home. I don't know if I ever expressed my gratitude towards her completely. Karen also took me in for a couple of weeks when I was "over" school and my roommates. She let me stay as long as I wanted. From Karen I learned patience, perseverance and kindness. Even when Karen was mad she was nice.
Saying goodbye to Karen will be the hardest. I think there will only be a handful of people in my life who saying goodbye to will be harder. I think what makes it so hard is that I know my best friend is hurting so bad. And that Gary, who stood beside Karen through thick and thin is now having to face the world alone. And the Chris, Karen's 3 year old grandson will grow up without his grandma there.
Last night at Eva's house Justin told us that he put Chris to bed with grandpa and when Chris crawled into bed he told Gary, its ok grandpa, Grandma's not in pain now, she's happy. It's amazing how that little three year old knows that Karen is ok, and she's not in pain anymore.
I will be saying goodbye to Karen on Tuesday.
In my opinion you are put on this earth for a reason. We don't know what that reason is but I believe when you finish your destiny then you can have peace and go home. I'm not sure what any of these three ladies paths were, I can't tell you why they left when they did but I can tell you that they will always be remembered, both in my heart and in the hearts of those who love them. I can also tell you that I hope to see them again someday, maybe not in the near future but I know that even though I have to say goodbye its really only see you later.
So ladies, may you rest in peace. I hope that wherever you are you are happy and looking out for us still finding our way here on earth. Thank you for all changing my life for the better. You all will truly be missed.
Love always,
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