COME VISIT ME!!!

Here's that feeling again... rearing it's ugly head and ruining my so-far almost perfect month. I knew I shouldn't do it I knew I should have just closed my eyes and went to sleep... but I didn't I followed up on some people like Rachel Teagle adn Aaron and Elise and there it was... hiding in a gingerbread video at http://teagblog.blogspot.com/

HOMESICKNESS

How I long for the happy times that were shown in the video and now I know how it feels to watch your babies grow up. There was Aly, so young... I think they had just moved here and little Ineke. She has grown up so much adn I've watched her do so many things that I knew she could do,

I miss the innocence of it all as well... for a brief moment nothing is wrong, all is well... then I look at my bank account or get the feeling i'm failing and that I'm never going to make it... I miss my friends. My family. I feel quite lonely here...

I've never been the outsider, except in those stupid games that Fe used to make up play at Leadership Overnight. But when you're at a party at your own house and you feel completely alone... that's an outsider... Or when you see pople at school who look familiar adn so you smile and wave adn say HEY! and they keep walking.. to involved in their conversation to care...

So what do I do... last time I gave up. I moved home. Not just because I was homesick but bcause I wasn't going down the right path. I really didn't want to be a nurse and I know that now. So what should do... I know I'm not giving up... I know I need to keep pushing forward... but how...

I guess I'll take the little steps... like going to an AG department Volleyball game, when I would usually go home or maybe staying after lab for the Ag Ambassador meeting even though I REALLY want ot go eat dinner and shower... I can do that.. cant I.

I knwo it sounds like a lot of bitching but, well I guess it is a lot of bitching... but OH well!

I miss everyone... Love you all and hope to see you soon... COME VISIT ME!!!

I wish...

You could go back in time and re- be nice to all those people you weren't so nice too.. Like this kid I used to TORMENT in middle school... we just bumped into each other and he's HOTT like HOTT HOTT HOTT.... so tragic...

That's the way with a lot of the little nasty nanky boyz in middle school... they get HOT and ugh... like really realy hott... grrr...

There that's the lesson be nice to those icky middle schoolers...

I can't believe I just said that.

Dear Santa

Can I please have a GIANT microbe for christmas... pretty pretty please

http://www.giantmicrobes.com/us/orderform.php

Check them out... you can get a stuffed STD model or how about a stuffed H1N1 for christmas.... presents anyone... you know who you are!! I smell christmas!

Lesson Learned...perhaps

ok I was feeling great today... got to talk to Elise over facebook videos, I placed a class of market hogs correctly. Eventhough it was like 104 today I had a very good day. So this afternoon I decide to watch a movie... when I saw said movie in theaters, at night, with Elise, I cried... full on sobbed... it scared the fucking crap out of me... no joke... So today when selecting what movie I was going to stream off of netflix I chose the he-who-shall-not-be-named of movies... NO NOt Harry Potter, QUARANTINE!!!

So I am watching it on my laptop... in the brightness of day... and it starts off a little less cary then I remember in that theater at midnight. So I keep watching... the blood doesnt creep me out... nor the idea of RABIES!!! until it gets closer to the end... In the duration of the last 25 mins of the movie, the climax, I had to stop the movie 5 times... had to make something, look at another website, do dishes, make some dinner... not because I had too OH NO I was scared shitless... AGAIN!!!

so todays lesson my friends... If the movie made you so scared the first time ya saw it that you almost literally shit yourself and you sobbed hysterically for a good 20 minutes... ya probably shouldn't watch it again...

Things I learned today

OK so I'm going to try to wrote something that I learn every day, boring right? WRONG! it may be boring and "book-wormy" or something full of Hilariousness...

Today while in my Public Speaking class I learned a few things
a) 4-H camp rocks and brings out the inner nerd in all of us
b) I am definetly normal on the people weirdness scale
c) this kid in my class wants to become an adult film writer and enjoys making up sex/porn names for everyone. i.e. Brittney Spears= Brittney Screamer and Ben Affleck= Ben asslick... and so on and so forth...

I also learned the color coding your binders and notebooks like you did in middle school actually helps... Swine science- Pink, Public speaking blue, etc.etc.

so with that I am off to cook some dinner, buy some school supplies at Wally-World and hit the hay, because even though it was only 2 classes School still tires me out.

AND.... I have a late class tomorrow so we will see what I learn then!!

Life Sucks... Karma is a bitch I experienced this tonight... 

I just hate being a bitch and thats what it came down to tonight... 

I'm tired but dont want to kick my guests out... 

Rain, Rain go away... or get me off work early!!


I got off early today.. and I am sooooo HAPPY!!! I would still be at work was it not for this rain. and lemme tell ya it was raining sooo hard. the creek was totally flodded ad so was the pasture, I am really glad that I don't have to be out ther in it, so instead I am finishing up shit for tomorrows meeting and the invites for the party, like 15 days till the party! AHHHHHHH